Blog post #13: Drummers of various kinds (1 of 2)

In this post and the next… Good drummers. Henpecked drummers. The average amateur drummer. Loud drummers. Dave Headache, Ian Womb and Troy Alexander. Gaetan the knife-weilding percussionist. Drum machines? Another disastrous gig for the band Tambana. Ringo’s genius.

Good drummers

Finding a good drummer will be one of your most challenging tasks when forming an amateur rock band. Without a groovy, well-subdivided beat underpinning everything else, your band cannot hope to create magic. After all, rock is rhythmical music first and foremost. You must do all you can to woo a good drummer and get him or her to commit to your band. It’s critical.

Good amateur drummers are in high demand. When you manage to entice one to join your band, you will probably have to share him or her with one or more other local bands. You will be competing for their time. This means you need to constantly check with your drummer when organising rehearsals and gigs, to see if they will be available.

Henpecked drummers

The Henpecked Drummer is a phenomenon I have come across several times over the years. He is a guy who plays the drums well and, in addition to playing with another band, is tasked with further duties by a domineering wife or girlfriend. The Henpecked Drummer is frightened of his partner, and he is not frightened of you. Her demands on his time take priority. He will be unable to attend most rehearsals as he will be busy clothes shopping, assembling an IKEA bookcase, visiting an art museum, hosting in-laws or some other non-important activity. (Not as important as playing in your band anyway.) A common phrase you will hear the Henpecked Drummer say is, “I’ll have to check with the missus first”.

You may need this guy for the sake of the band. Thank God you are NOT this guy! He probably had to hand over his testicles to his partner when they first started dating, and she’s kept them under lock and key ever since. Good drumming skills and high levels of testosterone are not correlated.

On the other hand... The Henpecked Drummer might not be henpecked at all. Perhaps he just uses his wife or girlfriend as a convenient excuse to get out of band rehearsals?

Typical good drummer behaviour

On the occasion when a good drummer actually makes it to a band rehearsal, it will immediately become clear that he has done zero homework for the rehearsal. You Whatsapped him links of songs to learn last week. He didn’t learn them. He didn’t even look at your message. But, not to worry, he simply pulls out his phone at the rehearsal, has a quick listen to the songs on Spotify and immediately nails the drum parts on the first play-through with the band. No problem. And he does so with great groove too.

Because good drummers are in demand, they may receive an offer to play in another band at any moment. Your drummer may decide to take up this offer and drop your band. However, the drummer will generally not tell you this. In my experience, very few musicians say point blank, “I’m leaving the band. Sorry. Bye”. They don’t want the confrontation, the awkwardness. Instead they become less and less available for rehearsals. This is their way of edging out of their commitment to play in the band without being explicit. The popular internet meme of Homer Simpson perfectly encapsulates their method of quitting the band. In the meme, Homer slowly backs up into a hedge until he disappears completely from view, probably to avoid some tiresome social event, like a work colleague’s barbeque. After a while, you become aware that your drummer has similarly disappeared and has in fact left the band for good.

Drummer for hire

To save yourself a lot of hassle and uncertainty, consider paying a good drummer (a pro or semi-pro) to come in for a rehearsal or two and to play gigs. If you are an amateur musician with a decently-paid full-time job, playing gigs should not be about you earning money. You are not in it for the money. The money earned from playing gigs is only validation that you are doing well. Your band will probably only get paid £200 per bar gig anyway. So, why not reward a good drummer? Give him the full gig payment, perhaps some more too, and reap the benefits of all of his hard work and dedication to his craft. He’s spent countless hours behind the drum kit during his lifetime. His tidy subdivisions will allow you to play more easily. Guitar parts you couldn’t play with previous drummers will become effortless now. His great dynamics will add another dimension to the band. And, the payment will mean he is more likely to actually turn up. So, if you happen to know a good local drummer who would be willing, treat yourself.

Hiring a pro/semi-pro drummer is not a long-term strategy as he may suddenly have to leave town to go on tour with a pro band if the opportunity arises. But you’ll have a great time in the meantime.

The average amateur drummer

The alternative to finding or hiring a good drummer is using the average amateur drummer. The upside of using the average amateur drummer is that they will be available for nearly every rehearsal and gig. The downsides may include the following:

• Dodgy subdivisions, a.k.a. dropping the cutlery drawer on the kitchen floor.
• Overly pushing the rhythm faster, a.k.a. “goosing”.
• Coming out of fills too fast and early (very common).

Many amateur drummers seem to concentrate on texture first and foremost, i.e., the dynamics, subtle differences in volume, making the sound of the drums more 3D with some sounds at very low volume (ghost notes), some at medium volume and some loud and in your face. It takes skill to play with texture, so this is definitely a plus for a drummer. However, this skill often comes at the expense of playing with good timing.

I will mention rhythmical deficiencies that amateur drummers (and other musicians) often suffer from in other blog posts titled Wonky Subdividers, The Rhythmically Dyslexic and Excessive Goosers.

Ridiculously loud drummers

Drums are loud. Unlike a guitar or a keyboard, there is no volume control on an acoustic drum set. However, some drummers have a subtle touch and, if the situation requires it, they can play quietly. Maybe they’ll use Rutes (a.k.a. Hot rods) occasionally. Rutes are quieter than regular drum sticks. Other drummers though, have one setting only, regardless of the situation. And this setting is: Ridiculously loud.

I’ve met three ridiculously loud drummers in my time: Dave Headache, Troy Alexander and Ian Womb.

Dave Headache played for a while in the afore-mentioned Shiny Exciters band, with Colin Europe and myself. Dave tried, for our benefit in rehearsals, to play quietly. He could never manage to do it though. His time-keeping went out of the window as soon as he lightened up his touch. In spite of this inability to play at low volumes, he was actually a good drummer in the John Bonham style with a lot of technique and massive amounts of energy. He sounded good at gigs, but rehearsals in small practice rooms were uncomfortable for the band and ear plugs were needed. It’s always less enjoyable to play with ear plugs as you lose all the high end. The sound is muffled. And you have to keep taking them out to communicate with the others between songs.

Another drummer I knew, Troy Alexander from the band Dad Bod Millionaires, was nearly an exact photocopy of Dave Headache. He also could not temper his loud drumming. Troy once asked me to sound engineer at a Dad Bod Millionaire gig. It was in a tiny bar. When I arrived at the bar, Troy handed me a complete set of microphones to mic up his drum kit and put it through the P.A. speakers for extra volume. Suffice to say, I did not use these.

After the sound check, the owner of the bar approached me and said, “Please turn down the volume. It’s way too loud!” He then immediately turned around and walked off before I could respond. Little did he know that Troy’s drums were the factor that determined the volume level of the band. I had zero control over the volume of Troy’s drum kit. All I could do was adjust the other instruments to somewhat match Troy’s volume. And I had to do this otherwise the music would have been ridiculously unbalanced: it would have been mostly drums with a tiny voice singing and tiny instruments playing faintly in the background. I passed on the owner’s concerns to Troy. Troy shrugged his shoulders.

Once the audience arrived and the band launched into their first number, it became immediately clear to me that the sound check had been a muted affair. Troy, and therefore the band, were playing much louder now! Troy had gotten excited by the presence of the audience. I saw the bar owner’s face drain. He had now lost his opportunity to negotiate over the volume level: the gig was under way and a room full of people were enjoying themselves (despite undergoing a degree of permanent hearing loss!)

Near the end of the gig, I had to leave the mixing desk in the hands of someone else. I had to go and catch the last train home. As I ran to the station, I could still clearly hear the Dad Bods from two blocks away.

Relations with the bar’s neighbours probably soured significantly that evening. When I walked past the bar in the subsequent months, I saw posters in the window advertising upcoming comedy nights and salsa dancing nights, but never another band night. So, Troy’s excessively loud playing probably reduced the area’s music scene by one venue that evening!

Since this gig, Troy Alexander’s name and that of the Dad Bod Millionaires has come up in my conversations with other local musicians several times. Mention of Troy and his band is always followed by the comment, “Too loud!” or words to this effect. “Too loud” is the overriding impression that one is left with after attending a Dad Bod Millionaire gig.

Ian Womb, yet another super loud drummer I’ve encountered, used to organise a local open mic night. He would often play drums for the different acts. Ian’s open mic night changed venue four times in about six years, due to neighbour complaints. Eventually, I saw a post on Ian’s Facebook page announcing that their would be no more open mic nights. I think Ian had run out of available venues in town. A less heavy-handed drummer would have been able to continue at each of these venues, I’m sure.



(The names of some musicians and bands in the above post have been changed to protect identities)


Mark Baxter (c)2024