Blog post #3: General principles to keep in mind when forming a rock band

The Shiny Exciters, live on stage somewhere in Belgium

In a nutshell, the overarching principles and fundamental truths to bear in mind when forming a band are as follows:

• Successful bands are not democracies. They are run by benevolent dictators.
• Networking is as important as practicing your instrument.
• Individuals should put their talents to use for the good of the band and not individual glory.
• Consider the singer first. The other musicians in the band support the singer.
• Potential band members should be thoroughly vetted before being officially invited to join the band.
• Good singers and drummers are rare like hens teeth. Guitarists and bassists, on the other hand, are ten-a-penny.
• Be honest with musicians who you don’t want to continue to play with.
• Musicians are often not unique snowflakes. Many of them fit nicely into distinct categories.
  
• The perfect musicians for your band probably don’t exist.

I will now write about each of these rock band maxims in more detail:

Benevolent dictatorship

A rock band is best run by a benevolent dictator. Democracies don’t work in a band setting. Committees don’t work. Endless discussions about song arrangements or artistic direction will get you nowhere. The band needs one competent, hard-working and slightly overbearing chieftain whose leadership and vision for the band is respected by the other members and who they happily follow for the most part.

The irony here is that popular music has never really flourished in countries run by authoritarian regimes. I’m sure we all prefer to live and to pursue artistic aims in largely free and democratic countries, but if you want your band to play a gig any time soon, go the dictator route. Dictators get things done fast.

And, in case you are unsure who the benevolent dictator of your band is, it’s YOU.

Networking

In order to acquire the best possible members for your band (a blend of musical talent and agreeableness), you need to draw from a large pool of potential players. If you do not cultivate a wide network of musicians in your local area, you will have less options and you risk being stuck with either talentless players or loonies, or worse: talentless loonies. You don’t want that. As you will discover in the following blog posts, a sizeable percentage of amateur musicians fall into these undesirable categories.

When it comes to forming a good band, having a large network is as important as practicing on your instrument.

I must admit, networking is not my strong suit. I’m reclusive by nature. If, like me, you prefer to stay at home of an evening watching humorous cat videos or Amsterdam magnet fishing videos on YouTube, then you must force yourself out to local gigs and open mic nights in order to meet other local amateur musicians and grow your network. You can also connect online by joining groups and befriending musicians in your local area on Facebook and other online places.

Consider the singer first for the best overall band sound

Sometimes, an individual band member can view the band as a vehicle for promoting his or her (normally his) own talents. This is what led a guitarist I once knew, Mr X, to suggest the very deep-voiced singer in his band sing Beat it, a song by the very high-pitched Michael Jackson. Mr X selfishly wanted to play the flashy Eddie Van Halen guitar solo that features on this song. He didn’t seem to care that the singer would have needed the aid of helium to sing this song. Either that or he would have had to sing it one octave lower than the original. This would have been laughably ridiculous.

I propose the radical idea that the overall band sound should be the first consideration when choosing and arranging songs, not the desires and preferences of individual players. In most cases, this means building a set list around the singer: choosing the style of songs their voice is best suited to singing and choosing the best key for their vocal range for all songs. The rest of the band should fit in around this and support the singer. In this way, you’ll build the best overall band sound. After all, the singing IS the song, literally. So, it’s best to consider the singing first and then build the other musicians’ parts around the singing.

As band leader, you should largely ignore guitar players’ requests for songs. Occasionally, songs guitarists would like to play and which show off their skills will align with what is good for the singer. In this scenario, you can throw them a bone and play their song to keep them happy.

If all the band members have their eye on what is good for the band’s overall sound, and not on servicing their own rock star fantasies, the band has a better chance of success.

Good singers and drummers are rare

It is a fact of life that good drummers and singers are very rare. Good guitarists and bassists, on the other hand, are relatively common. If you have a large enough network though, you should be able to find a good drummer and singer for your band.

Be aware that good drummers and singers know they are a rare commodity and may act like divas because of this. Sadly, you may have to put up with a degree of diva-ish-ness and annoying behaviour if you want to form a decent band and actually play some gigs. In a future blog post about Chaotic Divas, I will help you to identify and deal with the inevitable diva you will come across on your rock band journey.

Vet players well before committing

The best approach to auditioning players is extreme caution. Have an initial audition and if the player impresses you and your band mates, invite them to another session without committing to them joining the band. You may notice certain flaws in their playing only after the first meeting. And, the player may reveal themself to have some annoying personality quirk only after a first session, such as being argumentative, being a Guardian reader or being a serial killer. So, it’s best to tread gingerly with potential new band mates. You will spend a lot of time with them if you invite them into the band, so you need to make sure they are a good fit, as far as you can.

It sounds crazy, but inexperienced players sometimes commit to other musicians before even hearing them play. I’ve made this mistake myself in the past. For example, you meet a guy at a social event who also happens to be an amateur musician. He talks a good game. He talks like he is a good player. He seems knowledgable about music and mentions all the great musicians you also love. You get friendly with him. You bond and become brothers in arms. You talk about a musical collaboration together and set up a first meeting. In your heads, you are already planning a nationwide tour of clubs and theatres. Alas, when you meet up again, this time with your instruments, you know it’s not going to work within the first two minutes of playing together. His timekeeping is terrible. You then have to see the rest of the two-hour session out and afterwards try to extricate yourself from a lifelong commitment of music-making with this guy.

You can save yourself a lot of hassle by asking a prospective collaborator for an example of their playing. With video cameras on phones these days, nearly everyone has a video of themselves playing that they can show you. You’ll get a good idea of their skill level from this and can then decide whether or not to take things further and arrange a meet-up with instruments.

Be frank with other musicians

If you don’t want to start or to continue a collaboration with another player or a band, it’s best to tell them this as soon as possible. Honesty is the best policy. In my experience, there is always a cost to not being honest with other players and continuing collaborations way past their expiry date.

At band auditions, some amateur musicians find it very difficult to say no to the player auditioning, even if they are terrible. It is hard to tell another human to their face that they are not good enough. It’s easier in that moment to just invite them to join the band! This is especially the case if another person has recommended the player auditioning. By saying no you stand to disappoint both the musician AND the matchmaker.

Before hosting an audition, be prepared to be brave and say no to the auditioning player. If their skills are lacking, you are only delaying the inevitable by not saying no there and then.

A favourite trick of many musicians is to do a Homer Simpson. There is a popular internet meme of Homer Simpson backing up slowly into a hedge until he is completely engulfed by the hedge and disappears from view, presumably to get out of some tiresome social event. Many dissatisfied musicians will back away from a musical collaboration they no longer want to be part of in similar fashion: they will attend fewer and fewer rehearsals, offering a variety of excuses. They’ll sometimes annoyingly cancel at the last minute and then go off the radar for long periods of time (i.e., not answer calls and messages). Finally, their band mates get the message and stop contacting the musician. And so the musician succeeds in leaving the band with zero face-to-face confrontation and nothing being said explicitly. Mission accomplished! (This strikes me as being similar to the old urban myth of the husband saying “Sweatheart, I’m just going out to buy a newspaper” and then walking straight past the newsagents, catching a bus and starting a new life in another town.) The final interaction the cowardly musician has with the band is an awkward few minutes when he bumps into the singer in the sauces and condiments aisle in Asda two months later.

I urge musicians not to ‘Do a Homer’. Just tell the other musician(s) straight, save everyone a lot of wasted time and annoyance and then move on with your separate lives.

Musicians are often not unique snowflakes

I first started playing guitar in the 1980's. Since then, I've taken part in many jam sessions and open-mic evenings. I've been a member of various amateur and semi-pro bands. I've met many musicians through the decades. And it's possible to group a surprisingly large number of them according to their shared characteristics: their personalities and their behaviours. I will mention many of these musician 'types' over the course of this blog. In future posts, you will meet Chaotic Divas, Dadolescent Rockers, Excessive Goosers, Rampers, Gear Nerds, Gearophobes, Wonky Subdividers and The Rhythmically Dyslexic, among others.

If you have already done any kind of playing with other musicians, then you have probably already met some of these characters in real life. If you are yet to play with others, then expect to meet them in real life soon.

The perfect musicians for your band probably don’t exist

The perfect players for your band, musicians who are both impressively talented AND socially well-adjusted, probably don’t exist. So, forming a band will be a balancing act: on one side of the scale will be the musical quality of the band; on the other side, your own sanity. If you strike a good compromise, all your efforts of putting a band together will be well worth it.


These are my general principles to keep in mind when forming a band.



Mark Baxter (c) 2024